Over the past few weeks, as we've been getting settled in and reconnecting with friends, the most common question that I get is along the lines of "What are you doing now?" or "How do you like staying at home?" Let me just go ahead and go on record as saying that staying at home with Emerson is an amazing blessing!
I'll admit, at first it felt a little odd. Before China I was working probably 50 hours a week and commuting 30 minutes each way to work. As men we all have a desire to provide for our families, and our society drives into men to provide for their families financially. So how do you deal with this as a man when instead of driving to work in the morning, you find yourself driving here instead:
Thankfully, God directed me to a book called The Masculine Mandate: God's Calling to Men. This book referred back to the first man and discussed how God called Adam to "work and keep" the Garden, and that's what we're called to do as men. It discussed how our "garden" is actually whatever God has put us in charge of-- our jobs, our communities, our families, etc. I think that so often men in our world only focus on providing financially for their family and often miss out on providing nurture and support for their family. Don't get me wrong-- having a job and providing for your family financially is a great, Biblical thing. I think that God has me at home right now to teach me that it's not the only thing. I consider it a huge blessing that my foundation for having my family in America is nurturing Emerson. Maybe once I learn that lesson and get that right, God will move me into a more financial role. But if not, I will rejoice in where He has me and in the time that I get to spend with this little one:
"We have been taught that women are the main nurturers, while men are to be 'strong and silent.' But the Bible calls men to be cultivators, and that includes a significant emphasis on tending the hearts of those given into our charge... God has given the primary calling of emotional and spiritual nurture to men, and many of us fail to do it well." -- Richard D. Phillips
I hope that instead of a "stay at home dad" I can learn to be an "ever present father."
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