Today we received a bit of bad news at the hospital. Don’t worry,
Allie and the baby are both doing great! A few days ago I started having an ache
along the left side of my torso, wrapping from front to back. Yesterday, I
developed a painful rash. Don’t worry, I’ll intentionally limit the number of
pictures in this post! After Allie went to the doctor today for her weekly
appointment, I went to a dermatologist at the hospital who informed me that I
have shingles. She loaded me up with medication and told me that it may take several
weeks to resolve.
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| Me after getting the "good" news from the doctor. |
Normally, this wouldn’t be as big of an issue. I would deal
with the pain for a few weeks and then move on. But now that we’re 37 weeks
into the pregnancy some other key things come into play. The doctor said that
since Allie had chickenpox as a child, I’m not contagious to her. However, if
our baby is delivered in the next week or two, we’re not sure whether or not I’ll
be contagious to her. I may not be able to hold my newborn daughter for several
weeks after she is born!
In trying to process through that reality, God directed me
to Genesis 22. “After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, ‘Abraham!’
And he said, ‘Here am I.’ He said, ‘Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom
you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burn offering
on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.’”
True, God isn’t asking me to sacrifice my daughter’s life to
Him, but in essence He is asking for a sacrifice from me that involves my
daughter. Not being able to hold my daughter, to bond with her in her first
weeks of life can be a tough reality to swallow. Thankfully, I can draw
strength from the scripture about Abraham and Isaac. In case you don’t know the
rest of the story, I’ll recap it for you. The next day Abraham gets the
supplies, two men, and his son, and heads to Moriah to sacrifice his son. When
he sees the place of sacrifice he says to the men “Stay here with the donkeys;
I and the boy will go over there and worship and come back to you.” Take a
moment to process the faith in those words. God has called Abraham to kill his
only son, but Abraham considers this an act of worship! When we surrender our
desires to God we are worshiping Him!
When they arrive at the altar, Abraham lays the wood in
order then bounds Isaac on top of the altar. “Then Abraham reached out his hand
and took the knife to slaughter his son.”
As Abraham is on the brink of killing his son, an angel of the Lord
stops him and God provides a ram to take his son’s place. God says, “… now I
know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son,
from me.” After Abraham sacrifices the ram, he names the place “The Lord will
provide” and we are given the phrase that “On the mount of the Lord it shall be
provided.”
As I consider the sacrifice of not being able to hold my
newborn daughter, it would be very easy to get angry. But, every night Allie
and I pray that our daughter’s life can bring glory to God. If this prayer
means that I have to sacrifice my own expectations, my own idols, back to God,
then glory be to Him. As with Abraham, when God calls my response must be “Here
am I.”
On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided!
Hey bro, kyle here. Never sure if you know who the comments come from. Sorry to hear about the shingles man, I hear it's unite rough. And the news about potentialy not being able to hold your daughter must be bit heart breaking.
ReplyDeleteNow as you and I have many a discussion bout our religious views and we don't always see eye to eye, one thing has never changed. I am always amazed and over joyed at the peace and guidance you find in His word. In this special time I'm particularly comforted to know He is there with you.
Know that you and Allie are in my thoughts daily. Wishing you both all the best